WISDOM ABOUT MEN THAT I WILL SOMEDAY SHARE WITH MY DAUGHTER (I DON’T HAVE A DAUGHTER)
men are very itchy and dry. they are afraid of the effect lotion will have on their masculinity. don’t waste your time trying to moisturize them.
when men fall down or bang their heads, they get angry instead of crying. don’t take it personally.
real men eat everything that is placed within reach and sight of them. this is the kind of man you want, because they are stronger than the other kind and will make better babies and live longer, but if you are trying to save food for the next day or help your manfriend not become enormously fat, don’t bring the serving bowl or pot to the table. he will see it as an extension of his own plate. leave it in the kitchen and keep it covered.
sometimes when you’re crying, men think it means you’re mad at them and they get really defensive, or they get really tired all of a sudden and fall asleep. try to cry early in the day when sleeping would be inexplicable, and say some nice things to them before you succinctly explain your feelings with very simple words.
when a man loves you, you can tell, and when he doesn’t really care, it will be clear. unlike with us, apparently.
men can’t see colors so good. they always think it’s purple. if you want to paint the house purple, you could say it’s blue.
men make decisions easily and when you weigh pros and cons they think you are nagging them. this also sometimes makes them get sleepy.
men care a lot less than you think about the amount of cellulite you possess. it’s more important to act sexy than to look perfect. (except if you’re dating a sissy). the worst thing you can do is talk about the cellulite. don’t ever talk about it.
